Meditation Challenge: Day 5

December 10, 2009:  I sat down for meditation in the evening around 8pm.  I decided it would make some sense to continue with the same technique as the previous 4 days, maybe even using the ham sa/so ham approach through to Sunday so that I could get a full week’s observation of the impact of a single technique before switching to a second technique for week two.  It seemed like a vaguely “scientific” approach.  So, I proceeded.  And, in the spirt of accurate reporting, I have to admit I struggled to meditate last night.  Physically, I never quite settled in.  My foot fell asleep about 10 minutes in and I felt a slight ache in my back about 20 minutes in.  Mentally, I was a little better off.  I concentrated on each chakra diligently and dutifully noted the sensation of energy but I didn’t feel entirely present.  It felt more like an intellectual exercise or discipline, as if I were going through the motions.  Brief but distracting thoughts appeared like little thought bubbles- things like, “Will the yogurt/cilantro dip be okay without fresh lime?”  At about 25 minutes, I decided to end the meditation.  And, actually, as I came out of the meditation, I felt strongly compelled to sit still with my eyes open.  At this point, my body did relax and my mind did sort of empty.  Perhaps it was the release from the discipline of repeating a mantra and trying to focus?  Now that I was not trying to focus, I suddenly felt quite willing to remain seated and to observe.  What I noticed was a weight or heaviness pressing down on two specific points – the crown of my head and my heart.  It was a very tangible sensation and I just sat with it, eyes open, for probably 3-5 minutes.  It was not an unpleasant sensation, like being held or suffocated.  It was just a weight.